Can This Simple Discipline Move Big “I” Impossible To Simply Possible?

The Short read:

I have been writing for 365 consecutive days. Yay!

Celebrations are in order as a way of marking and motivating habit-formation. I decided to list:

3 — lessons that I had learned
6 — reviews of my book (Contours of Courageous Parenting — Tilting Towards Better Decisions)
5 — reasons to be grateful

Let’s start with the three main lessons I have learned from this experience:

1. Watch for the unexpected: I had not been planning to write a book. But when I was invited to join a group to Write in Community” I said “Yes”.
2. Embrace Uncertainty and WhatIf: Interesting things can happen. Whatif I was to publish a book between the solstices? It had not been an idea, but what if I were to embrace the discomfort and size of that task?
3. A simple discipline can turn Big “I” Impossible into simply possible. #accidentalauthor. Steve Kotler posits “big I Impossible” in his book “The Art of Impossible” is difficult to wrap our heads around. But we can each take little steps in the realm of small “i” possible. And just like that … I accidentally published my first book!

The Longer Read

“365? That’s impossible!” It crept up on me suddenly. As I added one to my daily writing counter of the day, I realized that I have been writing for 365 days. A full year of consecutive days of writing.

What started out as an exercise in discipline and continuity has delivered a real book (Contours of Courageous Parenting — Tilting Towards Better Decisions) as a by-product. I celebrated the day by writing a post “ 3 lessons. 6 Reviews. 5 Gratitudes from Writing for 3–6–5 days “:

• 3 lessons I learned along the way
• 6 of the many reviews I have received for my book as part of my #gratitudeFriday thank you series on LinkedIn
• 5 reasons it may have worked — and my gratitude for my stars to have aligned in this way

I wondered how I had managed to make it to a year of regular writing when I had tried and failed before? It may have had something to do with having fewer distractions and interruptions. And it may have been a more intuitive accountability system.

One book published and a more consistent writing practice! I am miles ahead of where I was a year ago as a writer.

These are the 3 lessons I learned while writing for 365 days:

1. The pandemic was one such event. Nothing to laugh about. But it changed our habits, our opportunities, our workflow and social interactions. Another unexpected was the invitation and opportunity to join a beta writing group. “Watch for the unexpected. Writing in Community” encouraged writers to stay in the flow of writing. I said “Yes”. I joined with the intention of showing up and engaging
2. Embrace Uncertainty and WhatIf: The most interesting things can happen when you embrace uncertainty and are open to #whatif. What if I was to publish a book between the solstices? It had not been an idea previously. But what if I were to embrace the discomfort and size of that task? And play with it? What could make that easy?
3. A simple discipline can turn Big I Impossible into simply possible. #accidentalauthor. I never, ever, ever — in a million years — envisioned myself as a published author. It has never been on my bucket list. To me, that falls under what Steve Kotler calls “big I Impossible” in his book “The Art of Impossible”. He posits Impossible is difficult to wrap our heads around. But we can each take little steps in the realm of small “i” impossible.

“Forget talent.
If you have it, fine. Use it.
If you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter.
As habit is more dependable than inspiration,
continued learning is more dependable than talent.”

- Octavia Butler

Embracing Whatif

That is exactly what happened when I stumbled upon a simple google sheet run by Kristin Hatcher in an Akimbo gathering space. The invitation was to mark your box for the day with an x when you had written for 15 minutes that day.
That was it.
No added pressure. No review. Just show up and get the work done.
I must have been searching for accountability on that day because it was the sheer simplicity that spoke to me. I had previously attended workshops with carefully organized writing prompts. And successfully made it through the class. But after the class dissipated, my writing practice dissolved. I needed more … people, more … pings back. Just a simple “I see you trying”.

Team Pencils

Word spread around our community. The group grew past twenty and a second sheet got created. I was on Team Pencils. Teams Crayons, Pens & Markers would soon join. The competition for continuity was on. A steady string of little x’s marked our progress. And the prize? Bragging rights. Team Pencils started reaching out to others on our team when we noticed a significant space on the spreadsheet. “Is everything OK? You are missed.” With COVID running rampant it could be anything — from a family member needing urgent care to a work emergency. However, if it was purely a slip of the mind, here was your kick in the butt to get you back up and running.

Inspired by Seinfeld red Xs [1] once I got into a steady rhythm, I looked forward to the writing. I found myself paying attention. I began to “notice as a writer”[2]. I searched for parallels to create appropriate parables so that I had material to write daily.

Write between the solstices

The simple spreadsheet evolved into a broader writing challenge: “Write between the solstices” Kristin beckoned. Come with an idea, and possibly publish a book by December 21, 2020. What did I have to lose? Some of Team Pencils had already joined with definitive tomes in mind. I came along for the ride.

In the middle of a pandemic, writing became a solace. It was a quiet space away from the grim news and feeling of helplessness during this time. Our Zoom Write Now co-working spaces were a haven. First, there was a quick warm-up writing prompt to get the writing synapses flowing. Then the Pomodoro timer got set. Each person set their intention for the day. Then head down, quietly scribbling away on paper, or independently clicking on their keyboards, liquid hydration at the ready-it could have been any suburban coffee shop on a regular day. It did not matter that these faces were geographically situated from Scotland to Singapore, Arkansas to Alberta. When you wanted a little human interaction, all you needed to do was lift your head from your work, and scan the “room” to see others diligently at work. It was an opportunity to connect tenuously with others.

The noticing journal

My noticing journal helped me create some lighter posts. I drew parallels from daily life to fit into fifteen minutes of reflection worthy of sharing. As the days wore into the end of the summer, I began to notice a different kind of space: a lack of support for parents dealing with the ripple decisions necessary during a pandemic. They had a lot of choices to make and more options than they could count.

It covered the simple and mundane, through to the complex and challenging:

• Do we mask or not? What about during a playdate outdoors?
• Should I disinfect all my groceries?
• When will the vaccine be available? Will it be safe to vaccinate my child?
• Do I create a learning pod for my children?
• Will in-class education be safe for the students and the teachers?

But there were few resources to help them evaluate and settle on a decision. Instead of accepting each decision made as the right one for that moment, they would feel defeated when that same decision needed to be re-evaluated in the light of new information. They lived in fear of making a bad decision, rather than watching for the signals that they were still on a good path. Could I help them? I had spent my summer in a Decisions by Design [3] class. Maybe some of the suggestions could translate over to parenting.

Critical Decision Making as a 21st Century skill

The ability to make decisions and rapidly re-evaluate them in the light of new information is a key skill for the 21st century. With the changing shape of work, Generation Z will have to use this skill often. We do not help our kids when we shield them from the details behind complex decisions. Instead, they need to gradually grow into the skill, just as they grow into their ability to do complex math and drive a car.

My thoughts around a helpful decision elements tool started off as a 24-page booklet. And it grew into a book.

Big ‘I” Impossible

So there you are. A simple writing practice resulted in me doing something that was completely off my radar. Now, sharing things that I have learned with others is on-brand for me. But publishing a book was never in the cards.
Until it happened.

If that could happen for me, what could happen for you if you embrace the #whatif?

Do you wish to create a regular writing practice? Or do you consider it Impossible?

Make. Take. Talk.

Make: some time in your day to write for five minutes. Three gratitude bullets or a noticing journal is a simple way to start. Mark a giant X or a dainty dot on a calendar. Then watch them gather and grow.
Take: some time to research accountability groups in your sphere. They could be local in-person, but global ones such as gogodone have also sprung up. Clarify what you are searching for. Then you will notice those opportunities popping up on the periphery. Or start your own with someone you know. Talk: Explore your why for writing with someone you trust. Good luck. I cannot wait to see the wonder you will bring into the world?

CREDIT & THANKS; DEFINITIONS & RESOURCES:

• For the other posts in the 3–6–5 series, visit karenadesouza.com

Resources:

1. “Seinfeld’s red Xs” Jerry Seinfeld’s system of creating daily https://lifehacker.com/jerry-seinfelds-productivity-secret-281626
2. “Notice As a Writer” Sam Apple in the Tim Ferriss interview: https://tim.blog/2021/05/26/how-to-become-a-better-writer-by-becoming-a-better-noticer/?utm_source=convertkit&utm_medium=convertkit&utm_campaign=weekly-roundup-chris-bosh
3. Decisions by Design. It is offered by Farnam Street. Enrollment opens at various points of the year. https://fscourses.com/p/decision-by-design-sign-up-now

• “Contours of Courageous Parenting — Tilting Towards Better Decisions” is available on your local Amazon site
• TILT the Future — my podcast discusses how little ideas, small shifts and minute moments can result in monumental changes in our lives https://karenadesouza.com/blog/
• Find a version of this thought for today article on LinkedIn, Medium, Instagram
• Photo, audio & video credits: Karena de Souza

Originally published at https://karenadesouza.com on June 21, 2021.